Are you kidding me? This has to be the question entering the minds of Detroit Lions fans everywhere when when watching this first half of nonsense. Nonsense is exactly what we all just witnessed, yet nothing will ever surprise me when watching this team.
But seriously what was that? My tongue quivers with the aftertaste of foamy puke.
Let’s count all the things that the Lions did wrong:
1. The Lions drive down the field on their opening drive. A 2nd and 1 opportunity at Minnesota’s 13-yard line turns into a botched field goal attempt by rookie holder Sam Martin.
2. The Lions over-pursue Adrian Peterson on Minnesota’s first offensive play. AP takes it to the house on a 78-yard dash.
3. Detroit drives down the field once again all the way to Minnesota’s 20-yard line. Matthew Stafford finds Megatron for their first touchdown connection of the year! But wait, it is called back and the Lions offense stalls, putting Akers on the field again. This time it is good.
End of First Quarter
4. Joique Bell converts a 4th and 1 try at Minnesota’s 12-yard line. But wait, it’s called back due to offensive holding called on Brandon Pettigrew. Another solid drive illustrated by Detroit comes to an end with a field goal.
5. The Lions defense really picks up steam, and then Deandre Levy capitalizes with a 33-yard interception for a touchdown! But wait, Ndamokung Suh commits his first personal foul of the season to bring it back. The next play Matthew Stafford throws an interception, and Peterson scores his second touchdown on the Vikings’ ensuing drive.
6. Bill Bentley drops an interception he could have taken back for six points.
7. Brandon Pettigrew brings back Thanksgiving memories when he fumbles to bring in a beautiful new year of football.
8. Joique Bell fumbles the ball at the end zone. But wait, the refs call it a touchdown! Something actually goes right for the Lions! We wait for whats should be an exciting 2nd half at the very least. But for the Lions’ sake hopefully not that exciting.