NBA Power Rankings: Week 8 (Christmas Edition)

These pre-Christmas power rankings can be seen as very controversial.

There are only 12 teams in the league with winning records. As we know, the East is miserably weak and that takes its toll on these rankings.

Some talented teams are struggling to win games as we wonder if they’ll ever turn it around. Will Santa deliver some special magic to teams in need of it?

That being said, here are my pre-Christmas NBA Power Rankings:

30. Philadelphia 76ers (8-20, Down 1):

Christmas Gift: Muscle man toy - Tony Wroten is 4th among all guards in points in the paint per game.

29. Milwaukee Bucks (6-21, Up 1):

Christmas Gift: Get well soon card - Milwaukee’s defensive efficiency has dropped eight spots and 0.013 points without Larry Sanders in the lineup this season.

28. Orlando Magic (8-19, Even):

Christmas Gift: First-time All-Star appearance for guard Arron Afflalo [21.7 PTS (2.6 3PM) , 5.0 REB, 4.8 AST.]

27. Utah Jazz (8-22, Even):

Christmas Gift: A special lightbulb for Utah’s bright future.

26. Sacramento Kings (8-18, Even):

Christmas Gift: Newly acquired (talented) players in Rudy Gay and Derrick Williams.

Photo courtesy of

25. New York Knicks (8-18, Even):

Christmas Gift: Happy santa doll to cheer them up and improve team chemistry.

24. Cleveland Cavaliers (10-16, Down 1):

Christmas Gift: Have your parents buy you a Nick Gilbert fathead (for good luck) this Christmas.

23. Boston Celtics (12-17, Down 6):

Christmas Gift: Brad Stevens basketball brain - I believe in this young coach’s future in Boston.

22. Memphis Grizzlies (11-15, Down 3):

Christmas Gift: Magic 8-ball to remind them what place they must be in to make the playoffs for a fourth consecutive year.

21. Chicago Bulls (10-16, Down 1):

Christmas Gift: Heart pillow to remind them of the heart they’ve played with in the past through Derrick Rose’s painful absence.

20. Brooklyn Nets (9-17, Up 1):

Christmas Gift: The apple artwork since they believe they run New York.

19. New Orleans Pelicans (11-14, Down 5):

Christmas Gift: Shooting robot who can beat Ryan Anderson in a three-point contest.

18. Toronto Raptors (11-14, Even):

Christmas Gift: Air Jordan figure for last year’s slam dunk champ Terrence Ross and a deserving slam dunk champ, DeMar DeRozan.

17. Charlotte Bobcats (13-15, Up 7):

Christmas Gift: Medal symbolizing great effort and determination (to make the playoffs.)

Photo courtesy of

16. L.A. Lakers (13-14, Down 1):

Christmas Gift: Lakers cake since (almost) everybody loves the Lakers.

15. Detroit Pistons (13-16, Up 1):

Christmas Gift: Iron fist toy to remind us of the (Bad Boys) days when more physical play was permitted.

14. Minnesota Timberwolves (13-15, Down 3):

Christmas Gift: Superman toy to show who Kevin Love has served as for this team.

13. Washington Wizards (12-13, Up 9):

Christmas Gift: Pool high-jumper for jumping up the most spots in my Christmas rankings.

12. Denver Nuggets (14-12, Down 3):

Christmas Gift: Mountain bed for Denver and the Mile-High City

11. Phoenix Suns (16-10, Up 2):

Christmas Gift: Surprised baby for the most shocking team this season.

10. Dallas Mavericks (15-12, Down 2):

Christmas Gift: Loyalty sign for some of the most loyal figures in the NBA (Mark Cuban and Dirk Nowitzki.)

Photo courtesy of

9. Golden State Warriors (15-13, Up 3):

Christmas Gift: Cheetah stuffed animal to keep up with the running Warriors on the basketball court.

8. Atlanta Hawks (15-12, Up 2):

Christmas Gift: Dark horse stuffed animal for the team I often refer to as the dark horse in the East.

7. Houston Rockets (18-10, Even):

Christmas Gift: Bearded king stained glass for James Harden and Houston’s well-oiled machine.

6. L.A. Clippers (20-9, Even):

Christmas Gift: Kings crown for the latest kings of Los Angeles (sorry hockey fans).

5. San Antonio Spurs (21-6, Down 1):

Christmas Gift: Permanent sharpies for a team that never goes away.

4. Portland Trail Blazers (23-5, Down 1):

Christmas Gift: Dos Equis (man) because you’ve impressed us but still have more work to do.

Photo courtesy of

3. Miami Heat (20-6, Up 2):

Christmas Gift: Dartboard to see how it feels to be on the opposing side of the target (team everyone is going for.)

2. Indiana Pacers (22-5, Down 1):

Christmas Gift: Old bag of nails to symbolize how tough this team is.

1. Oklahoma City Thunder (22-5, Up 1):

Christmas Gift: Just one touch of the Larry O’Brien Trophy – this year may be all or nothing for the Thunder.


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  • Morris

    This is clever.

  • Stan

    These are funny. ESPN should hire you.