Toronto Maple Leafs: Why August is my least favorite month

Happy International Left-handers Day everyone! August 13th is a day when myself and a (left)handful of people recognize and celebrate the people who live on the fringe of society by being southpaws. So take a moment and remember the great left-handed shots the National Hockey League has every seen (i.e. Gretzky, Messier, Jagr).

This opening may seem “left-handed”, but consider that there is not much else going on in the month of August; a month that does not live by its definition of respected and impressive. There are few who respect the 8th month of the Gregorian calendar. It is an indication of the impending new school year; crime increases with the scorching temperatures; and their is no cause for celebrating (except to honor the oddity of lefties).

Nothing impressive about that either.

Baseball and Football fans salivate during August, with postseasons and preseasons about to begin, respectively. But the month of the peridot offers nothing of excitement for us hockey fans.

Free agency has died down considerably, training camp is still too far off, and the only televised hockey are replays on the NHL Network, which lead to unbridled longing for October 8th (which cannot come soon enough!)

Hockey fans, like myself, despise the month of August for its lack of news and relevance to the sport. We become like addicts who quit cold turkey and think only of getting back on the drug. Obviously there are alternative means of getting a fix, especially with the many other sports still in play, but it isn’t enough to fill the need.

August is a dull and unsatisfying time of the year, for hockey fans and the divergent alike. It’s the month that we must suffer through in agony. Although August seems like Dresden circa 1945, there is no need to fret, the Alps are not far off. Soon we will hear the sweet sound of the goal horn, the sharp screech of the blades, and witness the bright, niveous surface for which the greatest athletes in the world make their living. There is nothing else that compares.

Until then, enjoy the rest of Goat Cheese month and mourn Elvis Presley’s death on the 16th. I’ll be yearning for the time where Johnny Manziel and Donald Sterling are merely footnotes in sport discussion and the main heading is all hockey.

And for you lefthanders out there: enjoy your day.

 

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